Discover: Feeling more Pleasure

Creator

Key learnings

1. Establish a nurturing connection with your body

2. Develop a keen awareness of touch

3. Practice mindful pleasure practices

Browse lesson plan

Introduction

I have created this course based on my experience of what works for most of my clients. That does not mean that this exact structure works for you. Feel free to change anything you need to change, as long as it makes it more likely for you to actually start doing the exercises. Maybe you want to practice more often than I suggest, maybe you want to practice less often. If you are not sure: just start with my suggestions and make changes based on that experience. Every lesson I include suggestions for variations on the exercises. Have a look at them to see if they would add to your experience and learning.

Connecting to the body

Intro The body is our main tool in experiencing the world. That is why we start this exploration by experiencing the body. When I say "experiencing the body" I mean just that: experiencing it exactly as it is right now. The goal of the body scan we are going to do this week is not necessarily to get more in touch with your body. It is to check in with it: notice what you can feel in the different parts of your body. Whatever you can and can not feel is perfect. It is likely to be different every time you do this. All you have to do is notice. Variations In the instruction video I take my own body as a template. Your body is likely to be different from mine. If for any reason you can or will not be present with a certain body part, just skip it. You can stay with the body part that came before, and catch up when I move to a part that is comfortable and possible for you. Or you can skip ahead and wait for me to catch up with you. For some, just concentrating on a body part is not enough to keep the focus there. If this is you: try adding touch. So when I invite you to focus on your knees for example, touch your knees. I mention this in the video, but you can do this bodyscan in any position. You are super welcome to move during it as well. No need to stay still if that does not work for you. Same goes for your eyes: close them, open them, whatever works for you.

Waking up the hands

Intro The hands are among our most sensitive body parts. Lots of nerve endings means lots of potential to feel. Most of us do not make it a habit to consciously seek out pleasure through the hands though. So that is what we are going to do this week: wake up those pleasure centers we call hands. This week's exercise comes from Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent. She graciously gave me permission to include it in this course. I highly recommend checking out her work. If for any reason you can or will not use your hands, choose a different body part to do this exercise with. I would advise picking a body part that you regularly use to touch things with. Variations As said in the video, you can do this exercise two ways: Put your hand on the pillow in your lap and use the other hand to lift the object and explore your hand with it, OR Put the object on the pillow in your lap and explore it with your hand. My advice is to try out different things and notice the effects.

Investigating habits

Intro What are your habits when it comes to your body and your pleasure? That is the central question this week. Plus: at what moments do you make conscious choices about this? And where might there be more space for choice? Variations In this lesson, I recommend that you start keeping a journal. I assume you will use pen and paper as that is nice and tactile, but it is of course also possible to do it on your computer or phone. Is writing not the best medium for you? You can also create voice clips or videos. Or you can a make drawings, paintings, music or other creative forms to express your experience. Find a form that works for you and that will give you insight into your patterns.

Noticing desires

Intro This week we arrive at desires. How do you know what you want? How do desires feel in your body? Are you able to trust those desires? And to communicate them? These are the questions we will tackle in this lesson. Fans of the Wheel of Consent will be pleased this week: this exercise is a variation on Betty Martin's 'Bossy Massage'. Where the original works well in an offline setting, a group of colleagues and I developed this variant for the online context. Variations This exercise forms itself exactly to your desires. I'll give you the structure, but won't tell you what to do, what posture to take, or what body parts should be involved. Because your desires are unique, the practice will look very different for you than for anyone else. So in a way, you make your own variations. There may be desires that arise that you cannot fulfill (at the moment). Take the time to feel those desires. Then take a deep breath and let a new desire bubble up. I would suggest sticking with the ten to fifteen seconds as described in the video. If for some reason that really does not work for you, it's easy to adjust. One more thing: you don't have to let this exercise last exactly half an hour. It can also be longer. Or shorter. I would advise doing the exercise for half an hour the first time, and adjust from there based on your experience. Make choices that make this exercise as useful and pleasant as possible for you.

Slowing down

IntroVariations Just like last week, this exercise forms itself exactly to your desires. Your desires decide what this exercise will look like. And, same as last week: -There may be desires that arise that you cannot fulfill (at the moment). Take the time to feel those desires. Then take a deep breath and let a new desire bubble up. -I would suggest sticking with the thirty seconds as described in the video. If for some reason that really does not work for you, it's easy to adjust. -One more thing: you don't have to let this exercise last exactly half an hour. It can also be longer. Or shorter. I would advise doing the exercise for half an hour the first time, and adjust from there based on your experience. Make choices that make this exercise as useful and pleasant as possible for you.

Noticing enoughness

IntroVariations Just like last week, this exercise forms itself exactly to your desires. Your desires decide what this exercise will look like. And, same as last week: -Do desires arise that you cannot fulfill (at the moment)? Take the time to feel those desires. Then take a deep breath and let a new desire bubble up. -You don't have to complete the half hour. You can stop when you've had enough. Notice how you know you've had enough.

Next steps

intro We are going to look back on what we have learned, and look forward to the next steps. Part of this is an exercise in which you will apply everything you have learned these past weeks. Variations This time you decide how long you want the exercise to last. Do that based on how it has been in the past weeks. Do you find yourself having enough before the timer goes off? Then stop. Want to keep going longer when your timer goes off? You can. And maybe you should schedule more time next time. Again, the following applies: Do desires arise that you (at the moment) cannot fulfill? Take the time to feel those desires. Then take a deep breath and let a new desire bubble up.

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