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Sexual consent explained: understanding and respecting every yes

Sexual consent explained: understanding and respecting every yes

Climax™

Reviewed by Climax™

Written by Jen Bell

Published on 21/03/2025

Last updated 24/03/2025

Understanding sexual consent is crucial for building healthy, respectful relationships. This article unpacks what consent really means and why it’s the foundation of all intimacy. From recognizing that only a clear, enthusiastic yes is true consent, to practical ways of checking in with your partner and knowing that consent can always be withdrawn, we guide you through the key points. Get practical tips for communicating openly, respecting boundaries, and ensuring every experience is fulfilling and safe for everyone involved. Ready to rethink how you approach consent? Dive in and empower your choices.

What is sexual consent?

Sexual consent means making a clear, mutual choice about every step of intimacy. Consent is never implied by a relationship status or past experience—it’s about the freedom to choose, every single time.

Consent is an ongoing conversation

There’s no universal rule that makes consent automatic. It doesn’t matter if you’re married, in a relationship, or have been intimate before—each moment requires its own "yes." There’s never an obligation, no matter what’s happened before. Ask, listen, and express your boundaries clearly.

How to ask for consent

Invite honest dialogue: talk openly about desires, limits, and expectations. Try questions like, "What do you want to try?" or "How do you feel about this?" If your partner hesitates or is unclear, pause and clarify. Sharing and responding honestly makes intimacy more fulfilling—and safer.

The essentials of clear consent

Consent must always be:

Freely given, never pressured

Explicit—no silence or hesitant nods

Informed; both partners understand what’s happening

Given by people in a state to decide (not under the influence, not asleep)

Enthusiastic, not just a reluctant ‘okay’

Coercion, threats, or manipulation are never consent. If consent is missing, or withdrawn at any time, stop immediately.

Consent isn’t all or nothing

Saying yes to a kiss does not mean you’ve agreed to anything more. At every step, check in—"Is this okay? Do you want to keep going?" Talk honestly about your feelings and needs, even mid-act. You can change your mind anytime, and so can your partner.

Tools to help: The traffic light system

Use the Red-Yellow-Green method:

**Red:** Stop completely.

**Yellow:** Pause and have a conversation.

**Green:** Both partners are in full agreement—keep communicating as you go!

When consent is missing

Proceeding without clear, enthusiastic, informed consent is sexual assault or rape. At Climax™, we believe that joyful, healthy intimacy is always rooted in consent. Open communication builds trust and pleasure—for everyone involved.

1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Sexual Violence: Definitions. https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/definitions.html

2. Columbia University Health Service. Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light: Navigating Consent. https://health.columbia.edu/content/red-yellow-green-light

3. RAINN. What Is Consent? https://www.rainn.org/articles/your-role-preventing-sexual-assault

4. World Health Organization. Sexual Health Overview. https://www.who.int/health-topics/sexual-health